There is nothing like the power and importance of having a host of good friends in your corner. Good friends can hold your hand through the hardest of times, provide advice, support, consolation and even commend you on accomplishments or times of great successes. Having a true friend is good therapy!
Good friendships are part of our overall happiness. Friendships can be genuine and irreplaceable bonds. Researchers had identified three common themes that bond friendships:
- Emotional Support – express affection and support, self-disclosure
- Communal Nature of Friendship – participate or support each other in mutually shared activities
- Sociability and Compatibility – friends are sources of fun and recreation
Friendships must be mutually productive and not destructive to either person, lest there be friction and conflicts. Once destructiveness enters into the relationship, the bonds are broken and it’s no longer considered friendship.
However, individuals can engage in remedies to solidify the broken relationship, if it is truly desirable.
- Reproach – the offended party acknowledges the problem and ask the offender for an explanation.
- Apologize – the offender take responsibility and offer concession, an apology
- Acknowledgement – the offended party accepts the remedy and friendship may be weakened, but it can continue.
Everyone needs to build upon solid friendships. Good friends are self-esteem boosters when the chips are down. There’s nothing like a good hug from a friend during times of stress or grief. It takes time to build long lasting friendships, but the meaningful connection is worth it when you meet that special person that you can share everything with.
There’s nothing like a friend that you can confide in and tell your troubles to and share your life with. The support and value of friendship can improve your overall well-being. Proverbs 27:9 (NIV) says “The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.”
A Friend you can trust, completely
“He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, But he who repeats or gossips about a matter separates intimate friends”. Proverbs 17:9 (AMP).
To cover an offense or something means not to reveal it to others. In doing so, it promotes love. A friend should keep a friend’s secrets to himself. This is a strong quality of a trustworthy friend. A friend who repeats a matter (or gossips) to someone else can separate even close friends. If you repeat something that a friend entrusted you with, that could likely dissolve the friendship. Confidence and trust is weakened in the relationship.
A Friend that will tell you the truth
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses”. Provers 27:5-6 (NIV)
Your real friends can be brutal when they tell you the truth. They won’t lie or sugarcoat the facts, even though it’s hurts like crazy. If you are doing something wrong or you are about to go down the wrong path, it is better to hear it from a friend who cares about you. Those that sugar-coat the truth, trying to spare your feelings, are not your true friends. Steer clear of fake friends.
Choose your Friends wisely
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm”. Proverbs 13:20 (NIV)
The more time you spend with a person, the more you associate yourself with this person. A motivational speaker once said “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” This is why it is so critically important to choose friends wisely. Be careful about the people you allow in your life circle.
“Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul”. Proverbs 22:24-25
Negativity and bad company corrupts good morals. You not only become ensnared with them, but you could pick up their bad habits. Because we have a tendency to be like our friends, we must choose friends carefully.
Maintaining Godly Friendships
Godly friendships are important. It is important to develop friendships that
Connect with people in your circle that reverence and have a high respect for God because they make excellent friends….even if it’s just one person. Godly friendships are cherished relationships.
We all can think of at least one person in our friend-circle who call themselves “friend”, but they are more like a wolf in sheep’s clothing. These “friends” are toxic…they pretend to care, but they just flatter you and set you up for trap.
“To flatter friends is to lay a trap for their feet”. Proverbs 29:5 (NLT)
Some friendships help us to honor God, while others friendships place us in situations that causes pain, embarrassment and stress. Friendships are critical to our relationship. We must ensure that our friendships are pleasing to God.